Fractured Christmas Bible studies, take 2

For this next passage, I recommend making yourself a cup of hot cocoa, cuddling up next to the fire, and putting on some soft Christmas music in the background. Make it a warm, comfy atmosphere for this most-inspiring story from the book of Philesians.

Philesians 5:6-21

6 And behold, wise sages from the east did see a bright star in the sky. And the star shone with exceeding brilliance. It was brighter than any star had ever been, before or since.

7 And so the sages mounted their camels, and bearing much costly and precious gifts, set out on a long journey to follow the star.

8 And it came to pass, on the third day of their journey, as darkness drew nigh, that the wise sages took up lodging for the night in the town of Izmus.

9 And behold, one of the sages, Melchior, approached the entrance to the inn, and he saw nearby a small, plastic star which did rest on top of an exceedingly green tree.

10 Melchior was thus smitten by the tree and did inquire of the innkeeper, saying, “From whence camest such a tree?”

11 And the innkeeper replied, “Lo, this tree is exceedingly green, and its leaves, though needle-like, do never change their color.”

12 Melchior said, “May it be as you have said. Allow this sojourner the joy of approaching the tree.” And the innkeeper gave his consent.

13 So Melchior summoned the other wise sages who were with him, and they all marveled at the exceedingly green tree. And the tree was adorned with a plastic star on top, and tassels of silver all around (see footnote).

14 And behold, after a good while, Melchior, filled with awe, said,

“O Izmus tree, O Izmus tree, how lovely are thy branches.
O Izmus tree, O Izmus tree, how lovely are thy branches.

15 Thy boughs so green in summertime,
Stay bravely green in wintertime.

16 O Izmus tree, O Izmus tree, how lovely are thy branches.”

17 And again, Melchior, along with the wise sages, did inquire of the innkeeper, asking, “Wilt thou give us the tree for a fair price?”

18 And the innkeeper, thinking this was good, did cut down the exceedingly green tree, wrapped it tightly in nylon mesh, and with the help of an assistant, hoisted it on top of one of the sage’s camels.

19 And the sages left the innkeeper and his assistant a small tip.

20 And then the wise sages returned immediately to their home, setting up the exceedingly green tree. And alas, it took three whole days for the wise sages to set up the tree such that it appeared to stand straight from all angles.

21 And the sages placed the costly and precious gifts under the exceedingly green tree.


Footnote: In verse 13, tassels of silver comes from the Greek word tinselos, from which the English word tinsel is derived.

Fractured Christmas Bible studies, take 1

If you’re like me, you just love the Christmas season. So much joy, so much fun. A time to see relatives, a time to see loved ones, a time to see people that you only see once a year but that’s okay because you don’t really like them that much anyway. . . just kidding. I thought I’d take a few moments at this special time of year to share a few passages with you, maybe to help us remember what Christmas is really all about. Today will be the first installment.

Sometimes I will provide commentary and reflections, and other times I will just let the passage speak for itself. Today’s entry comes to us from the book of Hesitations, Chapter 7.

Hesitations 7:5-13

5 And behold there were three workers of the field, each with a sum of money they had earned; the first had 10,000 denarii, the second had 5,000 denarii, and the third had 1,000 denarii.

6 And the owner said to the first, “The expected one has come. Therefore, go out and buy gifts for a bunch of other people.”

7 So the first worker went out and spent 20,000 denarii to buy gifts for all of his relatives, loved ones, and others (many of whom he did not even like). Thus the first worker incurred 10,000 denarii of debt. One month later, the first worker realized that he could not repay the debt.

8 In the same manner, the owner told the second worker to go; and behold, the second worker took his 5,000 denarii and spent 10,000 denarii on gifts for his relatives, loved ones, and other people that he did not really like.

9 Thus he incurred 5,000 denarii of debt. One month later, he too realized that he could not repay the debt.

10 Then the owner told the third worker to buy presents in the same way. But the third worker bought only one gift, of great value, costing him 2,000 denarii.

11 And he took the gift to a great party, where the gift changed hands seven times before finally being claimed by his sometimes-friend Matthias the shepherd.

12 Then the owner called the three workers together, saying, “You have spent more than you had, and lo, before there are leaves on the trees, you shall not be able to repay your debt. Go and do likewise next year.”

13 And behold, there stood a youth at the side of the owner, who was the owner’s servant. And the youth said, “What does any of this have to do with the expected one?”

Christmas albums, part 1

I guess everyone starts his or her Christmas season at a different time. When I was in Home Depot back in mid-October looking for a nozzle and some fertilizer, I found a full half of their garden section chock-full of Christmas merchandise. Obviously, Christmas had started for them. A local radio station started playing round-the-clock Christmas music on the Monday before Thanksgiving. A little early for my taste, but that’s what they are doing.

In my family, the Christmas season still pretty much starts when we get back from our Thanksgiving weekend. [Which, by the way, was most excellent this year . . . we had a great time with family in Pennsylvania, and my 25-year high school reunion was a blast.] Normally on the ride home, when we are a few hours from arrival, the thoughts start to kick in about how much needs to get done in the coming days and weeks. The feeling is usually reinforced as we enter our neighborhood and observe that apparently everyone else has been home all weekend putting up their lights and decorations. Looks like I’ll be the last one again this year.

Anyway, if you have looked at my profile, you may have noticed that I collect Christmas CDs. I am currently up to over sixty in my collection. Like most folks I really like Christmas music, and a long time ago, I began to amass a few dozen, starting with most of the better known albums out there. But over time, I got more and more intrigued. I began seek out albums by specific artists, novelty acts, and rarities (I admit that I paid forty dollars for one rare Christmas CD a few years back).

My self-imposed rule is that I don’t start listening to my Christmas CDs until the ride home from Thanksgiving weekend. But in recent years that has presented a problem. That is, I am not able to listen to all of the CDs in my collection during the Christmas season. There just isn’t the time. But even though I can’t fit them all in, I still find myself pondering which ones are my favorites—trying to mentally construct my “Top 10” list.

So, I’ve made a decision. This year, I am going to listen through my entire collection. I’ll knock most of them out driving to and from work. And, I am also going to construct and present to you a few lists of my favorites. I think I am going to go with at least: top five novelty albums, top five honorable mention, and top ten best Christmas albums. Based on the thought I’ve given to the subject so far, picking the best albums is going to be an extremely difficult task for me. There are a lot of really good ones.

So anyway, please stand by for parts 2, 3, etc. in this series as I embark on listening to sixty-plus CDs and feeling a whole lot of Christmas cheer!

The glue that holds it all together

What do I especially thank God for this Thanksgiving? Well, let me tell you.

Do the responsibilities and commitments of life sometimes feel like a house of cards? I start feeling that way every November. It seems that one recurring reality of my life is that autumn gets extremely busy. The job. My school work. The boys’ sports activities. Events and responsibilities at church. Kids getting sick. Meetings for this. Meetings for that. By this time of year, I start feeling a little overwhelmed. It seems every second of every day is accounted for, and there seems to be so much I need to accomplish that I just don’t get around to doing.

All of these pressures are perched precariously on top of one another like the proverbial house of cards. It seems that with just one nudge of the table, one gust of wind from an open door— and poof!—the delicately balanced cards will collapse to the ground. During these extremely busy times in life it seems like there is little room for error. One accident, one unplanned event, or one missed responsibility could have a seriously negative domino effect.

But what if that house of cards was glued together? Glued together really well? So well that when the table is nudged, or the wind blows, the house doesn’t fall apart? It doesn’t break. It withstands the strain.

I often refer to my wife as “the glue that holds it all together” in our household. And I’m not exaggerating. (I know it’s not a very romantic analogy, likening my wife to glue. I’ll do better in my Valentine’s Day entry, I promise.) But what I mean is this. There are a thousand, and I mean a thousand, little things that she does that keeps the Quackenblog house of cards standing.

I’m not just talking about cooking, cleaning, and making lunches. She does all that (while holding down a teaching job). But she also takes care of so many things, down to the smallest details of our life that I take for granted. Somehow she knows where everything is supposed to be. Not me. Whenever I empty the dishwasher, I always make a small “I-don’t-know-where-it-goes” pile (endearing, huh?). Somehow she knows where we are all supposed to be (and why). I pretty much forget stuff pertaining to the daily and weekly grind, even when I write it down. But she keeps us all moving in the right direction.

But after she does all of those thousand “little” things, she somehow has the time to spend quality time with me and the boys. She is my closest friend, and I cherish talking to her and confiding in her every day. And I cherish and appreciate the quality time that she spends teaching and raising our boys, setting an example of what a Godly woman is.

The term “Proverbs 31 woman” gets tossed around a lot, but I can’t think of a better description for my wife.

Anyway, thanks to all for reading my blog, and have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving. I will be goofing off visiting family and going to my reunion this weekend, so I will resume blogging on the Monday-Wednesday-Friday routine on the 30th.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Preparing for my 25-year high school reunion

During the Thanksgiving weekend, my wife and I will be attending my 25-year high school reunion. That’s right, I graduated from good old Hatboro-Horsham High School (Pennsylvania) back in 1984. The picture you see to your right is me on graduation night, June 12th, at the football stadium.

It’s been a while since I have been to one of these events (the last one I attended was my 10-year reunion), and I can remember having a really good time. This year, with the advent of Facebook, I already am aware of a few old friends who are planning to be there. It will be great to see them (and others) and catch up on things.

Naturally, when one goes to a reunion, one wants to put one’s best foot forward. Like most people, I don’t want people to think that I have been unsuccessful in life, and I certainly don’t want anyone to know about any blemishes. So, I have been working on my “talking points” for Friday night. Here’s what I have so far:

1. I can tell people that I am “comfortably retired.” This is a true statement. I retired from the Navy last year. And, I will be wearing a suit and dress shoes that are reasonably comfortable. So, I will not be lying. Nobody has to know that I still have a full-time job, teach part time, am trying to somehow get through years and years of post-graduate school to get on with my life, etc. etc. I’ll just keep it at “comfortably retired,” and if they press the issue, I’ll excuse myself to the buffet.

2. How can I get the message across that I have been a compassionate, caring philanthropist all these years? I’ve got it. I’ll tell people, “I’ve dedicated my life to feeding starving children.” Again, I won’t be lying. They don’t have to know that I am referring to my two sons. Seriously, these boys are always “starving.” When I was a kid I thought “eating us out of house and home” was just a cute expression. Now I’m living the reality.

3. Now on to a touchy subject. What if someone comments that I have put on a few pounds since high school? In that case, I’m going to say, “Well, truth be told, I have lost 150 pounds.” How can they not be impressed? Just thinking of that will make them think I look great! You see, in my adult life, I have gone on a diet at least fifteen times. And I know that in each diet, I have lost at least ten pounds before quitting. So, Voila!, I’ve lost 150 pounds.

4. I could tell people that I am a gold medalist. Don’t believe me? Look closely at the picture above. There I am at graduation, wearing a gold medal. Beats me what it was for—National Honor Society, I would guess. On second thought, this claim might be too tough to defend. Someone is liable to ask what I got the gold medal for. The best response I can come up with is that I got if for being “World’s Best Dad,” but everybody knows the prize for that is a coffee mug, not a gold medal. I’d better scratch this one off the list.

Well, I’ll keep thinking. I still have a few days to develop some more ideas. I am looking forward to having a great time on Friday night. And in the spirit of the occasion, I’ll do a send-off today with my alma mater.

Now here’s to good old Hatboro-Horsham,
Our praise for thee will never lack,
Something something something something,
And rally ‘round the red and black!

(3 out of 4 lines . . . not bad for 25 years later!)

“Express” lanes

As the holiday shopping season descends upon us, I got to thinking about one of my biggest pet peeves. (Yes, I have pet peeves. No, I am not proud of them all.) The pet peeve is this: I can’t stand it when I am in the “express lane” at a store, and someone in front of me has more than the maximum allowable items.

I am one of those people who finds himself discreetly trying to count the number of items that the people in front of me have. And believe me, if anyone is even one item over the limit, I feel that I have the right to be bent out of shape for the remainder of the day.

Now, I suppose there could be debate over what exactly constitutes an “item.” And I have yet to see any instructions at any Wal-Mart or grocery store informing the public of how they define an item. Maybe such instructions are out there, but I have not seen them. The way I account it, generally, is that an item is a self-contained unit. A six-pack of Pepsi is one item. A bag of apples from the produce department is one item. However, six separate cans of Campbell’s Chunky Beef Sirloin soup are six items. I think this is reasonable.

But alas, I am convinced that people will always abuse the system, and get in the “20 items or less” line when they have twenty-six. And I have found that it is not very constructive to say anything about it. I recall a conversation I once had with a check-out lady at Wal-Mart. I had stood in line patiently, and the person directly in front of me had exceeded the limit by at least a dozen items. As I stood waiting, I had the typical battle going on inside my head, which could be depicted by the “Angel Dave” and “Devil Dave” popping up on either side of my head.

Angel Dave: Don’t worry about it, Dave, it will be alright.
Devil Dave: Are you just gonna stand here and let this happen? Say something! Be a man!
Angel Dave: Let it go, let it go. There might be a good explanation for this.
Devil Dave: This happens every time. Stop being taken advantage of, and speak up!
Angel Dave: Be patient, it’s no big deal. Let it go.

But when I got up to the register, it was Devil Dave’s turn. However, I vowed not to be nasty. So when the young lady started ringing up my stuff, I softly said (in the nicest tone possible, I promise), “You know, that person that was in front of me was way over the twenty item limit.”

Her response surprised me. “Yes, I know.”

I thought to myself, “You know? Then why didn’t you do anything about it?” Even at this point “Angel Dave” was telling me to shut up and forget the whole thing. But I continued. Again, in as pleasant a tone as I could muster, I said, “Well, if you knew he was over the limit, why didn’t you say something to him?”

She said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that.”

Now I was curious. After a brief pause, I said, “I’m just curious. Why couldn’t you say something to him? He was way over the limit and the sign clearly says ’20 items or less.’”

She said, “Well, what would I say to him?”

Trying not to sound too sarcastic, I replied, “Well, you could say to him something like, ‘Sir, you have too many items for this lane. I’m going to have to ask you to go to another line.’”

She said, “But then he would have to put all his stuff back in the cart and go to another line.”

My mind processed this for about two-and-a-half seconds. Yes, it would be disruptive and take a little time to turn back the offender. Yes, it might be a little uncomfortable for the Wal-Mart employee to enforce the policy. But I am certainly willing to endure the time it takes if it means that in the long run we rid the world of express lane violators.

I said, “But if you tell him to . . . never mind.”

I realized it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t get it. For a brief moment I thought of the scene from City Slickers (funny movie) where, as they drive the cattle through the plains, Billy Crystal’s character is trying to explain to Daniel Stern’s character how to tape something on a VCR for about the umpteenth time. Bruno Kirby’s character finally can’t take it anymore, and says “Shut up! Just shut up! He doesn't get it! He'll never get it! It's been four hours! The cows can tape something by now!”

“Angel Dave” was right, and I didn’t listen. I am not going to change this egregious affront to society. At least not on my own. So as the holiday season approaches, I pledge to do my best to be patient and understanding to those who for some reason feel that the rules of express lanes do not apply to them.

Thankful “for” and thankful “to”

As Thanksgiving approaches, it is once again time to be especially mindful and thankful for all that we have. Our safety and health. The safety and health of our family. The material blessings that we enjoy. Plenty of food. A job. The list goes on and on, and we are right to be thankful for all that we have. The word “thankful” sort of implies that we have things to be thankful for.

But it seems to me that the word “thankful” also implies that there is someone to be thankful to. If we are merely thankful for something, but not thankful to the one who provides it, then what’s the point in being thankful in the first place? You might as well just save your breath. For instance, it is right for me to be thankful for the clean socks that appear in my drawer every week. But they don’t just materialize out of thin air, nor are they delivered by the sock fairy. I am thankful to my wife for all of the little things she does to take care of me. I am thankful for something, and thankful to someone.

In my view, we all tend to be fairly good at knowing that we should be thankful for our blessings at Thanksgiving. But who are we supposed to be thankful to at Thanksgiving?

To help answer this question, I thought I would re-print the words of someone that I respect a great deal. This is called “Thanksgiving Proclamation.”

Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and

Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness”:

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3rd day of October, A. D. 1789

George Washington

It is my opinion that every American should read this proclamation every year during the Thanksgiving season.