Stupid Song Lyrics -- Christmas Edition

Here is one that I updated from the archives. Hope you enjoy as we enter this festive season . . .

Once again, we have arrived at the second Wednesday of the month, which can only mean it is time for another episode of Stupid Song Lyrics. In honor of the Christmas season, I thought it appropriate to delve into some of the more questionable lyrics from some of our holiday favorites. So, without any further ado . . .

1. “I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day, on Christmas Day. I saw three ships come sailing in, on Christmas Day in the morning.” Subsequent verses: “And what was in those ships, all three?”, “The virgin Mary and Christ were there”, and “O, they sailed to Bethlehem, On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day . . .”

I guess I’m missing something, because I don’t remember the biblical passage that describes Mary and the baby Jesus on a ship—a ship in a flotilla of three vessels—sailing into the land-locked town of Bethlehem on Christmas morning. Is this figurative or metaphorical language? Is the writer of this song using one of those “paraphrase” Bibles? Or are these just . . . stupid song lyrics?


2. From “Here Comes Santa Claus”: Santa knows that we’re God’s children, that makes everything right.

Talk about your blanket statements. That makes everything right? Everything? You know, there are a lot of terrible things going on out there in the world today—murder, kidnapping, terrorism, starvation, violence and tragedy of all kinds. But you’re telling me that as long as we all realize that Santa (a fictitious character) knows that we are all God’s children (or as Bing Crosby sings, “we’re God’s chillin’”), well, then, that makes everything right. You’re okay. I’m okay. The world is okay. It’s all good.


3. In Little Saint Nick, the Beach Boys continually harmonize, “Christmas comes this time each year.”

Except for that one year when it came in March.


4. “Everyone’s dancing merrily, in a new old fashioned way.” Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

Don’t let this one confuse you. When you are rocking around the Christmas tree (which all of us do, right?), dance in a new old fashioned way, not in the old old fashioned way. You see, at one point, there was only one fashion. Then, a new fashion came along so we had to distinguish between the old fashioned way and the new fashioned way. But as is always the case, eventually, an even newer fashion came along--this was dubbed the new new fashioned way. The problem is, when people would refer back to what had gone before, it was confusing. People would ask, "Are you talking about the old old fashioned way or the new old fashioned way?" This song exhorts us to dance in the new old fashioned way. Thank you for letting me clear this up.


5. The Little Drummer Boy states, “The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum.”

Really? A couple of animals were keeping time? Now how exactly did they do that? Were they tapping their feet on the ground? Clapping their hoofs together? Scratchin’ on a first century mix-master machine? Seems kind of unrealistic. Besides, in any band, the drummer is the one who keeps time, so why would the little drummer boy need someone (or something) else to keep time for him in the first place?


6. And finally, I want you all to enjoy your Christmas to the utmost. Don’t hold back from having the most splendid holiday ever. Celebrate with gusto! In other words, I want you to Jingle ALL the way! Don’t jingle half the way. Don’t jingle a little bit and then give up. Don’t talk a good game and then stop jingling on December 15th. Don’t make excuses. Jingle ALL the way! You can do it!

Taking the Gospel to North Africa and France

As you read the following post you will quickly realize that this is not David A. Quackenbos. It is however, his oldest son, David (or Chad) C. Quackenbos. My father has given me the opportunity to post on his blog today. I hope I can live up to the usual entries.

During my first week of summer in 2009 I went on a weeklong trip to Ecuador. I went on this trip because I was interested in seeing a new culture, eating exquisite foods, and helping out some kids. God had different plans. As the trip went on I saw firsthand the power of God, and by the third night I was completely shaken. The Lord dealt with me over the rest of the trip and since then I have felt the call to become a foreign missionary.

Throughout my senior year of high school, many things changed. I tried to take a more active role as a leader within my youth group. I also kept praying and seeking confirmation from those around me about this calling I felt. Those around me were very supportive and helped me realize that missions is where I need to be. Right now I am a freshman at Liberty University. When I arrived on campus in the fall I was immediately surrounded by a great group of guys. I have been given the amazing privilege of getting to learn from and be discipled by the leadership on the hall while also being able to pour into others through the ministry of being a Prayer Leader. My experience at LU has been one of exciting spiritual growth and maturity (though I still have a long way to go).

Since the summer of 2009 I have looked for more opportunities to go overseas. As I prayed about where to go a few things came to mind. First, I have recently read a few books which have laid the Muslim population of the world on my heart. Second, the only foreign language I know any of is French. I thought, ‘if there were a country (or countries) that was predominantly Muslim and also spoke French that would be perfect’. As I did research the area of North Africa came to mind.

Within the first few weeks here at Liberty there was a meeting held by Light Ministries (the global missions center on campus) in which they told us about all of the trips they are taking this year. Going into the meeting I knew what I was looking for, a trip to either France or North Africa. Sure enough, when I walked into the meeting there was a banner for a trip to North Africa and France. It was an answered prayer.

This trip will be from May 15th to June 2nd of 2011. The first week will be spent in a North African country being exposed to the Muslim culture. This first week will be essential for the rest of the trip. After the first week is over we will travel to southern France to help minister to Muslim, North African immigrants. We will be working with missionaries by distributing literature, helping with a kid’s camp, and prayer walking. I could not be more excited for the opportunity to share the gospel with these people.

I would like to invite you to be a part of the team through prayer and financial support. We have been asked to find at least ten people to commit to pray for the group. Through your prayers I hope to be able to better prepare for the trip both mentally and physically. To make this trip a reality I will need to raise $2700. I hope to be able to pay for much of the trip out of my own pocket. Please pray that God will provide the funds that I am unable to make through the support of friends and family. Thank you very much.

To donate: Go to www.luglobal.com. Click on "Light Ministries College Mission Trips" on the right hand side of the page, then on the next page click on "Donate." Again, the name is David C. Quackenbos. Thank you!