My story . . . Part 9 of several

I was commissioned an officer in the United States Navy when I graduated from college. My initial commitment was four years, though I decided to stay in longer. As the years went by and I continued my service, I often joked that someday I would leave the Navy and figure out “what I wanted to do when I grew up.”

In and around 2004 and 2005, that reality started to become a lot clearer to me. By that time, I knew my Navy career would come to an end after 20 years of service (2008), and I also felt this passion growing in me to study and teach the Bible. The third ingredient in this mix was kind of a reminder from God. He started to rekindle in me a long-dormant desire.

Had you asked me back in high school what I wanted to be when I grew up, one of my top answers would have been to be a teacher. At the time, I remember wanting to be a Math teacher. I always thought that being a college professor would be cool. Then, when I was in college, my interests changed somewhat, and I wanted to be a history professor. This dream stayed with me long enough for me to pursue a Masters degree in history in the early 90s. But after that, for some reason, my dream of being a teacher kind of fizzled.

Then, about three or four years ago, the desire started to come back, and I started to give some serious thought to pursuing a career in teaching biblical studies. Well, to make a long story short, this is exactly what I am doing. In the fall of 2006, I enrolled in seminary, and I am currently half way through a Masters of Divinity program. After that, I intend to get my Ph.D., with the eventual goal of teaching biblical studies in some capacity at a seminary, college, or university.

So as I continue on this journey, there are a number of observations I’d like to make.

First, at times it is very daunting. I am in the middle of a prolonged career transition at one of the busiest times in my life. There are times when I wonder if I’ll ever make it all the way through this transition. And when I do, I’ll be pretty close to 50. If I were not absolutely sure that God was calling me to do this, I probably would already have quit.

Second, it is one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. I have loved every class that I have taken, and have felt nothing but confirmation that, though difficult at times, I am heading in the right direction. I can honestly say that my passion for what I am doing has not waned a bit.

Third, there are a lot of unanswered questions in my life. Where will I go to get my doctorate? Missouri? Wisconsin? Alaska? Europe? I don’t know. And how exactly will I feed my family, pay for my children’s college, etc., through all this? At some point I will cut the ties with full-time work and become a full-time student, perhaps for three or four years. Thoughts like these can be a little scary at times.

So, on the one hand, I am very certain about what God has called me to do with my life. He has given me a passion, and is providing me the opportunity to pursue it. But on the other hand, I am experiencing a great deal of uncertainty about the specifics of my future and that of my family.

What can I do but hearken back to the events that started all of this? God picked me up as I was walking in one direction and put me down to walk in another. He gave me gifts that I did not deserve, and graciously healed my son. And as I think back to all that has been, and all that is to come, one thought permeates my mind: Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Lord, please let my faith in you be the evidence of what I can’t see.