Christianese 101

In most areas of life, people tend to have their own specific language—or perhaps “jargon” is a better word. When I am at work, I speak in a certain way, use certain terms and phrases, etc., that my family and friends might not understand. And I have found that church is no exception. As Christians, we tend to have our own pet terms and ways of expressing ourselves. I have noticed many of these in the area of prayer.

The first silly expression, in my opinion, is when someone “covets our prayers,” as in,

Sunday School teacher: “Does anyone have any prayer requests this morning?”

Nancy: “Oh yes. Hal and I covet your prayers for Hal’s aunt who is in the hospital with pneumonia.”

Like me, you’ve probably heard this kind of thing dozens of times. But, I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard for me to maintain the seriousness of the moment as I internally contemplate the inevitable conundrum here, namely, that the Bible clearly states that “Thou shalt not covet,” yet people are coveting my prayers. There seems to be some sort of unspoken exception to this commandment when it comes to other people’s prayers. It doesn’t make sense to me, though. Nevertheless, I don’t think there is any way to put a halt to this minor inconsistency in our “Christianese.” Unless, of course, you want to be the one to start a campaign against it. Here’s an idea: Just try following up with a prayer request like, “Please pray for Nancy and Hal as they struggle with the sin of covetousness in their lives,” and see how far you get.

Another term we Christians love to use with respect to prayer requests is “traveling mercies.” “Ted and Janet ask you all to pray for traveling mercies as they head up to Blacksburg to visit their son, then to New Orleans to see Janet’s blind niece.” Now, I really have no problem with the term “traveling mercies” because I think it’s a good idea to ask God to mercifully take care of us when we go on long trips. I just chuckle that the expression is used exclusively in this context. Why don’t we ever ask for “relationship mercies” or “healing mercies” or “material provision mercies”? Just wonderin’. I think that if I requested any of these other mercies, people would think it odd, and some might even think I was trying to be a smart aleck (who, me?).

Lastly, I’ll mention the standard language that a pastor uses during the closing prayer of a sermon. You’ve heard it many times. You know, when he says, “Now I want every head bowed, and every eye closed. Nobody looking around.” Then after the invitation, he has people raise their hands, acknowledging each one, one by one—again, with "every head bowed, every eye closed, and nobody looking around." I understand the importance of prayer, and the seriousness of that particular moment. But at the same time, it’s true that every time we pray, it’s a very serious matter, because we are communicating with God.

I wonder if there are any pastors out there who give a similar prayer when saying grace at the Thanksgiving dinner table with twenty-five of their family members present . . . “Now I want every head bowed, and every eye closed, no looking around. If you are truly thankful for what you have, and are truly thankful for the hands that prepared this turkey, I want you to quickly raise your hand then put it down again—with nobody looking around, nobody smelling the food. Just raise your hand so I can see it . . . Yes, here at the head table, I see a hand. Yes, over by Aunt Sally, I see your hand. Over there at the kids table, yes. Nobody looking around, every head bowed. Yes, over there by the stuffing, I see your hand . . .”—and so on. Just wonderin’.