Pet peeve #83: “It ain’t braggin’ if you can do it”

Here’s one that’s been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. I’m sure you’ve been in a situation where someone is talking to you, or to a group, and is engaged in self-adulation of some sort. And then, perhaps he catches a disapproving eye, or merely wants to maintain the appearance of modesty, and says, “Hey, it ain’t braggin’ if you can do it!” or “It ain’t braggin’ if you can back it up!” or some such.

For a long time, I thought nothing of this little phrase. But at some point, I began to break it down and ponder it. Then, after a while, I began a mental protest against it. And now, when I hear it said, it usually takes every ounce of my being to hold my tongue, for I want to scream out, “Yes it is bragging! In fact, that’s exactly what the definition of ‘bragging’ is! It’s when you do something, have something, etc., and then talk about it in an effort to aggrandize yourself.”

This is in contradistinction to three other possible situations:

1) If you do something, or have something, yet choose not to boast about it, it’s called humility.

2) If you boast about something, and can’t back it up, it’s called lying.

3) But, perhaps a person sincerely needs to point out some great accomplishment, as a matter of fact, with no intention of bragging. That could happen. But in my experience, people in this situation don’t say, “Hey, it ain’t braggin’ if you can do it.” They tend to stutter, in an awkward and humble way, something like, “I don’t mean to say this to brag, I’m just pointing out what happened . . .” And this kind of gets to the crux of the matter. Most of the time, people use the “It ain’t braggin’” line to cover up the fact that they are indeed bragging. It’s like if I finished my fifth piece of cheesecake for dessert and I looked around the table and said, “Hey, it ain’t being a pig if you can eat it all.”

If you consider what I have said here, and agree with my sentiments, perhaps you would consider joining me in a grass roots movement to rid the world of this silly saying. I propose that whenever we hear someone say “It ain’t braggin’ if you can do it,” we stand up and loudly declare, “Yes, it is bragging. You are mistaken”—whether we are in line at the supermarket, at church, or in the stands at the baseball game.

What do you say? Will you join me?