I’ve mentioned before that I often find myself preoccupied giving inordinate amounts of thought to relatively minor issues, and that it drives me crazy. If I could just get an official ruling on such matters, life would be so much easier. Take sneezing for example. It is winter. ‘Tis the season for sneezing, and lots of it. Everywhere you go, people have colds. So, consider the following typical situation at work. Somebody sneezes, so I say “Bless you.” Three seconds later they sneeze again, so I politely say “Bless you” again. Then they sneeze a third time, and so on. At some point, usually about the third or fourth sneeze, I, like most people, feel some unspoken obligation to add in some witty expression of surprise, even though sneezing fits are quite common. Sneezing fits can last for three, four, or five sneezes, or sometimes longer.
My question is, what is the obligation of the “blesser” (the person saying “Bless you”)? Well, first of all, why do we even say “Bless you” in the first place? Yes, I know, it’s because centuries ago people thought that by sneezing a person was expelling evil spirits blah blah blah. I’m asking why we still do it in the 21st century. It makes no sense to me. I know, I know, we do it to be polite, and because that’s the thing that people in our culture say when someone sneezes (except for those who wish to get fancy and pull out the German “Gesundheit”). It still doesn’t really make sense to me.
But getting back to my question, what is my obligation for responding? On the first or second sneeze it’s no big deal, but am I the only person out there who, by the fourth or fifth sneeze is thinking, “Okay, let’s wrap it up there, buddy. Time to move on.”? I’m kidding, because sneezing is an involuntary act that cannot be helped. Nevertheless, at times I do find myself contemplating questions like: Why am I doing this? This makes no sense. And I start feeling pressure to come up with a good one-liner like, “Wow, looks like you got yourself a little bit of a cold there” or “Sounds like somebody didn’t get their swine flu shot, eh?”
So, I’m working on a few strategies.
My first strategy is the “two ‘Bless you’ limit” strategy. For all sneezing fits, after the second sneeze, you are on your own, you will get no more blessings from me. I’m going back to work. This has the advantage of showing concern, yet avoiding excessive redundancy and awkwardness. On the other hand, this strategy runs the risk of being construed as heartless and socially unacceptable, leaving a person precariously unblessed for an undetermined number of sneezes, which could invite any number of harmful consequences. I’ll have to see how it works in practice.
My second strategy is the “wait until they are done” strategy. After a person sneezes, I will not say “Bless you” right away, but wait a few seconds. If it turns into a sneezing fit, I will wait until I am reasonably sure that they are all finished, then give one blanket “Bless you” to cover all of the sneezes in the chain. The main drawback to this strategy is that in a larger group, others are liable to jump in at the beginning, thus obviating the need for me to give the final blessing (and also robbing me of credit for this great plan). On the other hand, if others jump in first, then the blessing is taken care of and I can wash my hands of the whole matter altogether.
If these two strategies fail, I may come up with a new one, or grudgingly revert to the status quo.
At some point I’ll give you an update to let you know how my little experiment is working. In the meantime, which strategy do you think is better?
It’s nice to know that others spend time and energy hashing over the most mundane of things!
ReplyDeleteI lean toward the “wait until they are done” approach. Although, in practice, I usually blurt out a “Bless You” after the first sneeze w/o thinking.
In a similar vein as your contemplations, I used to wonder why I even said it at all, since I wasn’t even aware of it’s original purpose. I finally decided that it is an expression of good will and friendship and has no religious connotation, at least not to me.
In my house, there was so much sneezing (allergies) that saying "bless you" seemed ridiculous. It was simply assumed, so we didn't bother. Also, my father, who always sneezes three times in a row, seems to prefer "gesundheit." Does that make him fancy? "Neu" is a German name so maybe he comes by it honestly.
ReplyDeleteAnother tidbit (also from my father) is that he does not like it when people say "bless you" after each sneeze. It annoys him because it draws attention to the fact that he is sneezing in the first place which is something he simply does not enjoy!
As for me, I say "bless you" to people in public places, but only once. After that, they're on their own.