Olympic update

So, are you catching much of the Olympics? I love the Winter Olympics. In fact, I like them better than the Summer Olympics. I think it is because the winter games have a lot of intriguing sports (and I’ll use that term loosely) that you just don’t see every day. Ski jumping, luge, and bobsledding come to mind.

One thing I realize as I watch some of these events is that I have no idea what is going on. But do you really need to know all the in’s and out’s when such riveting competition is taking place? Take the women’s curling competition last night. Now, if you are not aware, curling is a “sport,” fairly popular in Canada and now elsewhere, that combines the toughest and most grueling elements of shuffleboard, walking on an icy driveway, and trying to get a stain off the kitchen floor with a mop. The idea is to get the “stone” in the middle of the bullseye. I sat spellbound as the game between the U.S. and Japan came down to a measurement of which team’s stone was closest to the bullseye. As the judge proceeded to do the deed, one television announcer said to the other, “Now, tell us how they are going to do this.” I thought to myself, “No, first let me take a guess. They’re going to take some sort of ruler-like device, place it on the ice, and measure it. The measurement of lesser value will be the winner. Am I close?”

I also thought it was a lot of fun watching moguls the other night. I understood what the athletes were doing, but I had no idea what the commentators were saying. The course was pretty straightforward: lots and lots of moguls on a steep hill, with two ramps fairly evenly spaced, off of which the skiers would do some kind of spin-flip. Then they skied to the finish, raising both arms in victory regardless of how they did. Of course, I’d do the same thing if I was able to make it to the bottom of that hill. But as I said, the commentators lost me in a sea of euphemisms. Apparently several of the skiers didn’t “form it out” enough. Some “got big” while others needed to “get bigger.” Some of the best ones “got big” and “had a lot of heat,” while others performed with varying degrees of bigness and heat.

At some point I watched some luge, one of my favorites. It’s too bad that the Olympics got off to such a rough start on account of the luge tragedy. But as I watched, I chuckled as the commentator, as if trying to drive home a poignant observation, said that all of the competitors were within a few seconds of one another. Really? Let’s think about this for a second. Every luger (excuse me, “luge athlete”) wears a variation of the same silly, multi-colored one-piece outfit. They all lay flat on their back, on essentially the same device, and go down the same track. Why is it surprising that their times are all almost the same? I’m pretty sure that with a little practice, I could luge down that track and be within at least three seconds of a bronze medal. Except I wouldn’t wear one of those outfits.

Pretty bold claim, huh? Well, enough for now. I’ll keep watching . . . and listening to the coverage that makes it all so crystal clear.

Until next time, Go World!