As the holiday shopping season descends upon us, I got to thinking about one of my biggest pet peeves. (Yes, I have pet peeves. No, I am not proud of them all.) The pet peeve is this: I can’t stand it when I am in the “express lane” at a store, and someone in front of me has more than the maximum allowable items.
I am one of those people who finds himself discreetly trying to count the number of items that the people in front of me have. And believe me, if anyone is even one item over the limit, I feel that I have the right to be bent out of shape for the remainder of the day.
Now, I suppose there could be debate over what exactly constitutes an “item.” And I have yet to see any instructions at any Wal-Mart or grocery store informing the public of how they define an item. Maybe such instructions are out there, but I have not seen them. The way I account it, generally, is that an item is a self-contained unit. A six-pack of Pepsi is one item. A bag of apples from the produce department is one item. However, six separate cans of Campbell’s Chunky Beef Sirloin soup are six items. I think this is reasonable.
But alas, I am convinced that people will always abuse the system, and get in the “20 items or less” line when they have twenty-six. And I have found that it is not very constructive to say anything about it. I recall a conversation I once had with a check-out lady at Wal-Mart. I had stood in line patiently, and the person directly in front of me had exceeded the limit by at least a dozen items. As I stood waiting, I had the typical battle going on inside my head, which could be depicted by the “Angel Dave” and “Devil Dave” popping up on either side of my head.
Angel Dave: Don’t worry about it, Dave, it will be alright.
Devil Dave: Are you just gonna stand here and let this happen? Say something! Be a man!
Angel Dave: Let it go, let it go. There might be a good explanation for this.
Devil Dave: This happens every time. Stop being taken advantage of, and speak up!
Angel Dave: Be patient, it’s no big deal. Let it go.
But when I got up to the register, it was Devil Dave’s turn. However, I vowed not to be nasty. So when the young lady started ringing up my stuff, I softly said (in the nicest tone possible, I promise), “You know, that person that was in front of me was way over the twenty item limit.”
Her response surprised me. “Yes, I know.”
I thought to myself, “You know? Then why didn’t you do anything about it?” Even at this point “Angel Dave” was telling me to shut up and forget the whole thing. But I continued. Again, in as pleasant a tone as I could muster, I said, “Well, if you knew he was over the limit, why didn’t you say something to him?”
She said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that.”
Now I was curious. After a brief pause, I said, “I’m just curious. Why couldn’t you say something to him? He was way over the limit and the sign clearly says ’20 items or less.’”
She said, “Well, what would I say to him?”
Trying not to sound too sarcastic, I replied, “Well, you could say to him something like, ‘Sir, you have too many items for this lane. I’m going to have to ask you to go to another line.’”
She said, “But then he would have to put all his stuff back in the cart and go to another line.”
My mind processed this for about two-and-a-half seconds. Yes, it would be disruptive and take a little time to turn back the offender. Yes, it might be a little uncomfortable for the Wal-Mart employee to enforce the policy. But I am certainly willing to endure the time it takes if it means that in the long run we rid the world of express lane violators.
I said, “But if you tell him to . . . never mind.”
I realized it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t get it. For a brief moment I thought of the scene from City Slickers (funny movie) where, as they drive the cattle through the plains, Billy Crystal’s character is trying to explain to Daniel Stern’s character how to tape something on a VCR for about the umpteenth time. Bruno Kirby’s character finally can’t take it anymore, and says “Shut up! Just shut up! He doesn't get it! He'll never get it! It's been four hours! The cows can tape something by now!”
“Angel Dave” was right, and I didn’t listen. I am not going to change this egregious affront to society. At least not on my own. So as the holiday season approaches, I pledge to do my best to be patient and understanding to those who for some reason feel that the rules of express lanes do not apply to them.
I am one of those people who finds himself discreetly trying to count the number of items that the people in front of me have. And believe me, if anyone is even one item over the limit, I feel that I have the right to be bent out of shape for the remainder of the day.
Now, I suppose there could be debate over what exactly constitutes an “item.” And I have yet to see any instructions at any Wal-Mart or grocery store informing the public of how they define an item. Maybe such instructions are out there, but I have not seen them. The way I account it, generally, is that an item is a self-contained unit. A six-pack of Pepsi is one item. A bag of apples from the produce department is one item. However, six separate cans of Campbell’s Chunky Beef Sirloin soup are six items. I think this is reasonable.
But alas, I am convinced that people will always abuse the system, and get in the “20 items or less” line when they have twenty-six. And I have found that it is not very constructive to say anything about it. I recall a conversation I once had with a check-out lady at Wal-Mart. I had stood in line patiently, and the person directly in front of me had exceeded the limit by at least a dozen items. As I stood waiting, I had the typical battle going on inside my head, which could be depicted by the “Angel Dave” and “Devil Dave” popping up on either side of my head.
Angel Dave: Don’t worry about it, Dave, it will be alright.
Devil Dave: Are you just gonna stand here and let this happen? Say something! Be a man!
Angel Dave: Let it go, let it go. There might be a good explanation for this.
Devil Dave: This happens every time. Stop being taken advantage of, and speak up!
Angel Dave: Be patient, it’s no big deal. Let it go.
But when I got up to the register, it was Devil Dave’s turn. However, I vowed not to be nasty. So when the young lady started ringing up my stuff, I softly said (in the nicest tone possible, I promise), “You know, that person that was in front of me was way over the twenty item limit.”
Her response surprised me. “Yes, I know.”
I thought to myself, “You know? Then why didn’t you do anything about it?” Even at this point “Angel Dave” was telling me to shut up and forget the whole thing. But I continued. Again, in as pleasant a tone as I could muster, I said, “Well, if you knew he was over the limit, why didn’t you say something to him?”
She said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that.”
Now I was curious. After a brief pause, I said, “I’m just curious. Why couldn’t you say something to him? He was way over the limit and the sign clearly says ’20 items or less.’”
She said, “Well, what would I say to him?”
Trying not to sound too sarcastic, I replied, “Well, you could say to him something like, ‘Sir, you have too many items for this lane. I’m going to have to ask you to go to another line.’”
She said, “But then he would have to put all his stuff back in the cart and go to another line.”
My mind processed this for about two-and-a-half seconds. Yes, it would be disruptive and take a little time to turn back the offender. Yes, it might be a little uncomfortable for the Wal-Mart employee to enforce the policy. But I am certainly willing to endure the time it takes if it means that in the long run we rid the world of express lane violators.
I said, “But if you tell him to . . . never mind.”
I realized it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t get it. For a brief moment I thought of the scene from City Slickers (funny movie) where, as they drive the cattle through the plains, Billy Crystal’s character is trying to explain to Daniel Stern’s character how to tape something on a VCR for about the umpteenth time. Bruno Kirby’s character finally can’t take it anymore, and says “Shut up! Just shut up! He doesn't get it! He'll never get it! It's been four hours! The cows can tape something by now!”
“Angel Dave” was right, and I didn’t listen. I am not going to change this egregious affront to society. At least not on my own. So as the holiday season approaches, I pledge to do my best to be patient and understanding to those who for some reason feel that the rules of express lanes do not apply to them.
I like this post and it illustrates a frequently recurring problem. This problem is that unfairness can occur in life and there isn’t a blessed thing we can do about it! This check-out line thing is a small-scale example. Unless a person brings a cart overflowing with groceries, it really is in the best interests of both checkout person and those persons behind the offender to simply “let it be”. Attempting to back him out would result in more stress and hassle than simply accepting his stuff and moving on.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is, there are dozens of ways people can cheat in small ways (and sometimes even big ways) and get away with it. “Gyping” in line is another example.
Best to let “Angel Dave” win this one!!
Dave:
ReplyDeleteI have just finished reading your whole blog. I am floored! Your ability to write so clearly and compellingly about the things you write about--some of your stories about Matthew are as good as anything I have ever read. And you "Stupid Song Lyrics" in October had me laughing out loud.
Please keep it up. It is a way for us to keep up with you, and to understand what's on your mind. Who knows, maybe a book is in the offing sometime downstream.
Chandler
PS: The best solution to the "12 items or less" problem is the supermarket checker who looks at the shopper and asks "Which twelve items do you want to buy"?
Thank you so much Chandler for the very kind words and for reading the Quackenblog. That is a great line about what to say at the check-out counter!
ReplyDelete