What I want my son to know about sports

Well, sometimes in life things don’t go the way you’d like. On Saturday, my older son, Chad, competed in the Virginia State Cross-Country Championship Meet. His team, Grassfield High School, was one of the best teams in the state this year, and at various times over the course of the season, they had been ranked first or second statewide.

Going into the meet, I was trying to be realistic about my expectations for the team. I fully believed (and still do) that if all of our runners ran their usual good race, we would place at least second or third in the state. If things really clicked, it was within the realm of possibility that we could win it all. The team had looked stellar the week before when they won the Virginia Eastern Regional Championship (the photo you see is Chad with the Regional Championship trophy). But there were two teams from northern Virginia that we knew were very strong and would be tough to beat.

But things did not go well for us. As a team, we did not have our best race. And unfortunately, one of our top runners passed out during the race and dropped out. This hurt our overall score considerably. As I stood in a crowd about twenty yards from the finish line, watching the runners cruise to the end of the race, it was immediately evident that we would not place as high as we wanted. Nevertheless, I felt a pride and satisfaction that is hard to describe when I saw my son cross the finish line in his last high school cross-country race.

The boys were understandably very upset. This meet was the culmination of a significant amount of hard work and dedication for them (and when I say significant, I mean it). And obviously they felt they had not put their best foot forward. Even so, when the final tally came in, Grassfield finished in sixth place in the state. This is higher than most teams from our region normally place, and is not too shabby given that Grassfield High School is only in its third year of existence.

On the three and a half hour ride home, I gave some thought to what had transpired. I hurt for the team, because I know how badly they wanted to win the state championship, or at least finish in the top two or three. I also hurt for them because they finished just one point behind the fifth place team—and the top five teams were recognized at the podium with medals and a trophy. One point shy. Sports can be very cruel sometimes.

I also got to thinking about what it all means in the big picture. I began to ponder what I had learned from playing sports in high school. And though it’s probably no consolation to him right now, I tried to articulate in my mind the things that I would want Chad to know.

First, sports are a gift from God. I know, I know, you can say that about anything in life. But it is also true about sports. God is good to us, and He is gracious. He didn’t have to create a world where we have an endless variety of food, thousands of hobbies and occupations to engage our minds, or sports. God didn’t have to create these things, or give man the capacity to think them up. But He did. Sports provide an avenue for healthy competition, the camaraderie of being on a team, the experience of pushing your body to its limits, the opportunity to deal with the empty feeling of defeat, and to feel the indescribable euphoria of victory. Competing in sports adds richness to life.

Second, sports prepare you for life. I can remember in my early twenties, as a young Naval officer, being in some pretty challenging and nerve-racking situations on the bridge of a U. S. Navy ship. It was during some of those harrowing situations that I remember telling myself, “Hey, you made it through all of those grueling wrestling practices, you made it through those cross-country races in complete agony . . . you can do this.” Cross-country and track have pushed Chad to a level of self-discipline, dedication, and mental toughness that I doubt he knew he had. I know that this will help him immensely in handling “life” and helping him to persevere when demanding situations arise.

Third, as with so many things in life, it is the relationships that count. He (and the team) may not realize it right now, but the bitterness of Saturday’s results will abate. Twenty years from now, he will think back and say, “That was really disappointing that we didn’t do better at states back in 2009.” But what he will remember more vividly are the fun bus rides to the meets, the pasta dinners the night before every race, and most importantly the lasting friendships that he made. One thing that impressed me more than anything else was the chemistry and close friendships on the Grassfield cross-country team over the past three years. This was a tight group. The kids really like each other. I know that all of those good friends, and good times, will be things that Chad treasures for a lifetime.